I'm dying of sadness, when I read all this. it is devastating. killing me like burning all my organs inside. and it will end with my heart.

remember when you told me, that you hope karma get me for this?
well, she (Karma) did, actually right after you block me.
that was my punishment. nothing less could hurt me more...
I'm sad, lonely, have no one to talk to, or no one to understand me, laugh with me, nope no one, not even you. not anymore. maybe not for ever. I have a diamond strong feeling of it.
But I'm with just crying. and still can't understand all this.

I know I was hoping for you to hate me (and so you did, after looong time of hoping and asking you for it). I only want you to hate me, cause that prove that you actually can have strong feelings for someone that you don't know (including love). and also since you told me that you will never love me (but you have said that you love me before, in the start of our conversation)


I have so many things left to show you, tell you, but you will never allow me to..

I have lost it. your trust your heart. everything.

but because of my respeckt for you, I will not make a fake profile and write to you. even that is tempting every single day..

maybe you dont believe me, but I cant see a reason to lie in public how much i loved you, and when i am thinking of you i'm crying....



but at least I have been very mean, so i deserve the payback, but it was also very real and important prove of that you can love someone you never met.
(because if you can hate them so much as you hate me, it wouldnt be that hard to love me on the same emotional way, just the opposite)

remember hate and love are so strong feeling that they go hand in hand. like brother and sister. they cant live without each other, and when/ if they do, there is no love, and neither hate

cause as strong as you hate me, as easy it is to love. as long you can hate that much, I will never be forgotten.

unless you forgive me. I will pray to every God I have heart of, that you will never forgive me. not because I want you to hate me. but because I rather want you to hate me, then don't have any feeling for me at all..



remember, the only reason I was writing to her, was because I thought that she actually had a heart.
I couldnt have know that it will ruin your life.

I wasn't even thinking. only fast. all what I could do. to save you. cause I love you.
and every fast idea I get, I took.

save the people you love..
I know that you know what I mean..

but i prefer you have a ruined life and live that have a good life while you give up and dying. so I did this for the greater good, even it is hard for you to see now.

maybe some how, some day you will use your brilliant intelligens (137 IQ, right?) to see that I did this with a bigger plan.



i love you, and might love you for ever.
your biggest admirer.. Lil.

PS. I wrote to Adam again today. he still has' t answer on how you feel. As he act, he seemed sure that I am mentally ill in the head, I think it will look like you, to convince him about this, after our crushed friendship. (or what ever it was)